One of the greatest lessons in life  is the realization that the limit to your learning is endless. Old,  young, wise, not so wise, all people have the opportunity to learn  something new every day. You may or may not be aware of it, but over the  course of a lifetime you learn more about how life works, how other  people work, and even about yourself and how you interact with others.  Life is continually calling us into learning, and this is especially  applicable when it comes to human relationships. 
One of the greatest relationships  we are called into over the course of our life is marriage. This does  not necessarily mean that it is the most important life relationship,  but it is one whose success or failure has the greatest impact on your  adult life. And in looking at marriage, there are a number of key skills  that are crucial to navigating your way through marriage.
There will always be couples who  live in apparent wedded bliss, and those that will tell you that they  never fight or disagree. That simply isn't true. As each of us grow and  evolve, we are called to learn different lessons in different ways, and  one of the exciting things about marriages is the way we interact and  negotiate our way around issues when we look at things from different  perspectives. Those who tell you they have never been challenged in this  way have never really lived. But what determines whether this challenge  is a positive or negative experience for your marriage is how both of  you choose to react to your differences and work around them.
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When faced with a disagreement  there are a range of choices. The first is to back down, allowing the  other to make their point and express it. Another is to challenge their  point and ascertain whether it is correct. Another choice is to discuss  both options and see if there is room for flexibility. Are both of you  correct, or is one of you incorrect in your viewpoint? How much is one  person's viewpoint inhibiting the beliefs, values, or morals of the  other? 
The most important point here however, is introspection. Evaluate your actions and reactions. 
* What lesson am I being called to learn in this conflict?
* What can I learn about my partner and myself?
* What can I learn in order to address this issue and move forward?
* What can I learn about my partner and myself?
* What can I learn in order to address this issue and move forward?
The key is to understand the issues  and to find small ways to move forward. You can call them goals. Make  them achievable, and make them measurable. How often are you coming back  and seeing if you have reached your goals? Are you making progress or  are you at a stalemate?
The important thing to realize is  that you are always learning, and finding new ways of understanding and  loving each other as well as yourselves. Think of your marriage issues  as an opportunity for growth and understanding.
The next step is to identify the  lessons that you both must learn. In marriage we are called into a  constant evolution, a journey of loving. The challenge to all marriages,  good and bad, is to find new ways of loving each other. If you have  been married one year, ten years or forty years, the challenge is still  the same. Grow in love together. 
What can you learn from your  partner and your marriage today? What do you know today that you didn't  know yesterday. The secret is to never stop learning. And when you do  stop learning, that's where we can help.
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